Surreal GPS Trip

On Sunday, I decided to take the kids out so that the wife could work on housekeeping.  Before you get all ruffled about that, realize that (a) this is a story about GPS, not housekeeping and (b) it was the wife's suggestion, I merely made the decision.

I got the wife a GPS system for Mother's Day.  She wanted one, and I found one that wasn't outrageously expensive.  Unfortunately, it's not outrageously great, either.  Oh, sure, it tells me where I am, and if I am going to some place it already knows, it can tell me how to get there, but it's miserable at accepting a street address.  The e-mail help desk confirmed my worst nightmare: it's trial and error to get the thing to select the right block . . . if you even get the choice, since sometimes you don't.  Oh, and if you choose the wrong block, you can't just go back a step to try again.  That crashes the software.  You have to start over from the beginning.  Hella lame.  Fortunately, we're mostly going to use it on trips out of state, where we'll usually be leveraging the Point Of Interest feature, which is actually pretty robust.  It reminded me of some museums I had forgotten about here in Phoenix.

Speaking of which . . .

I loaded up the kids and fired up the GPS.  Where shall we go?  It's hot in Phoenix now, so a museum seemed to be in order, but which one?  The Heard has a very good children's area now, so I figured that might be a good choice.  Pull up the POI, check museums starting with H.  What's this?  Hall of Flame Museum?  Damn!  I forgot about that place.  It's small, but the fire engines are really neat.  Lotus agreed, and we headed out to see the fire engines.  The GPS even kept me from making a wrong turn, since I evidently forgot exactly where it was. 

However, the museum didn't open until noon, and it was only about 10 AM.  No matter, how about a park?  Oh magic GPS, tell me where the nearest park is!  Tempe Beach sounds good, let's head there.  Good directions right up until a closed road, because of some event going on at the park.  Great.  I later found out from my father that the folks in Tempe are getting a little freaking tired of their nice public community park constantly being closed for commercial events.

Where to now, Lotus?  A mall with a play area?  Good idea . . . I wonder where the closest one of those is.  GPS (let's call her Ingrid - she sounds like an Ingrid) has a nice listing of malls.  I chose one which wasn't exactly close, and I didn't exactly know much about.  Turned out, it was more of strip mall.  Oh well.  Now I'm in Chandler anyway, so I might as well go to the Chandler Fashion Center, where I know there is a play area.  Ingrid gave me good directions, so we're in good shape.

The mall is open, but the shops aren't, so every parent is at the play place, so Lotus doesn't want to play.  Fine by me, really.  I dislike those play areas, as there's always some unsupervised tweenie making a mockery of the posted rules, and yet, for some reason, I'm not allowed to slap them.  So, we went and got some drinks, and just walked around the mall window shopping for a while.  Then it was lunch time, but I didn't want to stay at the mall any longer.  Plus, Lotus was getting cold.  Tesla was simply happy to be out and about no matter where we were, so that was fine by her.

Need gas.  Where's the nearest QT Ingrid?  Thanks!  That one at least worked perfectly, as Ingrid not only gave me great directions, but the place was open when we got there (to be fair, the non-openness of the other places was not Ingrid's fault - her directions were fine).  Now for some food.  Lotus wants tacos.  So, now, I face a choice: go to a good Mexican place, or go somewhere where I know Lotus will eat.  Yes, Taco Bell won the day. 

But where's the nearest Bell?  Ingrid can tell me about 40 nearby restaurants, but none of them are Taco Bell.  I type in a T, and select the first Bell on the list.  However, when you specify a name, you no longer get the benefit of "nearest."  In the end, I wandered my way down to Rural and Apache, and tried again.  Surely, of the 40 nearest restaurants, Taco Bell must be in there this time.  We're talking about the middle of a college campus, and one of the biggest party campuses in the US.  How can there not be a Taco Bell nearby?  Well, lo and behold, there is one.  Turn right, Ingrid?  Gotcha, turning right.  Wait, now left?  Right again?  Another right?  Erm . . . wait, I'm back at Apache and Rural.  Oh.  There's the Taco Bell right there.  If I had been looking instead of fiddling with Ingrid, I would have seen it.  Silly me.

Didn't need Ingrid's help to get to my parent's house, of course.  Used her anyway, to see how it would get me there.  You know, just to see.  Took me by a direct, if unusual path.  Fed Tesla there, took a nap with her while my Mom got some Lotus time.  Went home, using Ingrid again, just to try to understand her better.

It's not a bad system.  Unless you rely on street addresses.  The system?  Evesham's Nav-Cam 7700.  Ye be warned.

Comments

[lauowolf]

"And yet for some reason I'm not allowed to slap them...."
So true, so sad.

[White Roses]

I take some solace in what Blood Dragon once told me.

One day, your daughter will see what some kid is doing, look at you and say, "If you ever caught me doing something that stupid, you would have killed me."  Then you'll know you raised your kid right.